Our most recent trip to Mo’orea was so special as this was our “last hoorah” before starting IVF! A lot of people thought that I found out I was pregnant on this trip, but nope! It was special because we were celebrating our 5th year anniversary and when we got back, we knew that we would be starting IVF. This blog is to fill you on what we learned through the rest of the work up and our process on how we decided to pursue IVF.

I want to start and say thank you so much to everyone who reached out after my last blog post-Infertility [part 1]. The support really makes me feel that Bryan and I are not alone. Many people reached out to me about their struggles or even opened up about their experience trying to conceive. Everyone has been so sensitive to our situation, and no one has minimized it, which was one of my biggest fears in being vulnerable.

I also wanted to add that infertility has been a heavy burden that we have been carrying for the past couple years, but I am so thankful that Bryan has been such an amazing partner. He has validated all my emotions/feelings, gone to every doctor appointment, been so comforting, and has not been pushy on the next steps at all. This trial has built a deeper trust within Bryan and me. Once again, thank you to all those who have been a part of our support group over the past year or so.

During our time of trying, I think the most difficult part was watching some of my friends grow their families. I was and still am genuinely happy for them, but it hasn’t been easy to see other people rejoicing in receiving something you so badly want for yourself. To share such an amazing gift of creating another life with your spouse is indescribable. It is difficult to not compare your situation to their life and ask, “why was it so easy for them and not me?” That is part of the reason I took a step back from being a social media influencer. Being on social media all the time and seeing others’ positive pregnancy tests, baby bumps, new borns, etc. every time I opened Instagram or the explore page made it difficult.

One other thing I wanted to explain is that this infertility journey that Bryan and I are navigating is a joint problem; it is not just Bryan’s issue or my issue. As much as this season has sucked, it has been helpful for our marriage that the burden (or “fault”) doesn’t fall on only one person, which has helped keep us unified. Since completing the required testing, we learned that I do in fact have two ovaries, but one just happens to be completely blocked. Hence why they did not see the other one when I did the HSG test. On the other hand, Bryan has low count and motility and so between the two of us, that is the reason why we have been unsuccessful conceiving naturally. The doctors told us about a year ago that our only option to have a baby would be to do In vitro fertilization (IVF). It was a little shocking to hear, but at the same time I know that we serve/have a faithful and miraculous God that can perform miracles and I firmly believe he can make it happen. The doctors did give both Bryan and I options to have invasive surgeries to see if it would help improve our individual situations, but it was no guarantee that it would work. The second option was to go straight to IVF and possibly have surgeries later to see if we could conceive naturally. We began to spend a lot of time in prayer, fasting, talked to our pastors, as well as other Christians. We have prayed A LOT through the entire decision process. We want to make sure that our feelings were not clouding our judgment as we so desperately want to be parents. In the end, with deep prayer and consideration, we have decided to pursue IVF.

After deciding to move forward with IVF, we quickly learned that being a Christian going through IVF was not going to be easy. So far, I think we have been seen as “the difficult patients” as we are not going through the standard process. We are being cautious about preserving the life of the embryo(s) that will be created. We also waived pre-implantation genetic testing (PGT) as most fertility centers will not transfer any embryo(s) that have a genetic mutation such as cystic fibrosis (CF) or Down syndrome. We have longed to be parents and to have a little babe of our own, but not willing to compromise what we believe God wants in our lives. We have thought about it very intensely as we are trying to be ethically and biblically responsible about protecting human life after fertilization.

Some people have asked “how can you be a Christian and do IVF?” or feel that we are “taking control/playing God.” Ultimately, we are using science to help us conceive, but Bryan and I firmly believe that this entire situation is still in God’s hands. We have tried to follow God’s will as best as possible and this is where we are feeling led/called. Also, just because we undergo IVF doesn’t mean that it will be successful. Obviously, the goal of IVF is for it to be successful, but if that is not God’s will, then Bryan and I have started to think and pray on the option of adopting. With or without kids, I am sure that Bryan and I will still have a rich and fulfilling life/marriage. They would just be a cherry on the cake.

I have recently started to share on social media, but I also wanted to share the events that have occurred since choosing the IVF path and our next steps:

1. I started taking an oral medication (Estrace) on 8/8/22. It is additional estrogen for my body. So far, I have been feeling well. The first week that I started my body was adjusting and I had some headaches and nausea.
2. We had our first appointment of IVF with our Nurse Practitioners (NP’s) regarding the plan for medications and the plan for egg retrieval.
3. On Monday (8/22/22), I picked up all our medications from the fertility pharmacy. Side note, did you know that there was such a thing?! I didn’t haha.
4. My next appointment was on September 2nd, and it will be my baseline ultrasound and bloodwork. Then I started injections.
5. From there, I will have multiple appointments (every other day) following the start of injections to monitor my ovaries/follicles and bloodwork. The results of those appointments/labs will decide when I administer the “trigger shot” and have my egg retrieval procedure. Which will be tomorrow (9/17/22)!

At the end of the day, we are trying to trust that God knows what is best for us and why we are going through this process/season. Trusting in God’s outcome has been the hardest, but the more we trust the more we’re starting to understand He really wants what is best for us. God can be slow to answer us sometimes and sometimes the answer will be ‘no’ but again, I am just trying to press into Him during this time.

To end this blog, I wanted to provide some suggestions on how to better support those going through infertility:

1. Be sensitive to the couple struggling
2. Don’t minimize their pain; instead give encouraging words
3. Encourage them to be as healthy as they can
4. Remind them it is okay to stop trying – hard one!

If you are reading this and struggling with infertility, just know that my circumstances, journey, and outcome may not necessarily match yours, but I really do understand the pain of infertility and I see/feel you. I sincerely pray where my testimony can’t minister to you, God’s grace will.

Love, Taylor